To My Baby Girl...

Dear Daughter,

I wrote a letter to your brother yesterday and now it's your turn.

Ever since I could remember, I've always wanted a little girl. I grew up in a house full of women and that made me want raise a woman of my own.

I can't wait to be able to dress you up and put ribbons around your little afro puffs. I want to be by your side as your prom date slips a corsage on your wrist and to see your daddy walk you down the aisle.

I understand that none of this may happen and you could end up being the complete opposite of your girly mama and that is okay. Can't fault me for hoping! I will love you either way.

I am also fully aware that girls, especially Black girls, can be a bit attitudinal, especially during the teenage years. I was a moody teenager and two of your aunties are teenagers right now, so I am fully prepare to handle your little attitude. I might have to dish out some very tough love but you'll benefit and grow from it. I promise.

My biggest wish is that you grow up to be a confident, intelligent and strong woman. I know how hard it is to grow up as a Black girl in America. You will be constantly bombarded with images of how society believe you should look, dress and act. But I am confident that you will be able to look past all of that and be able to love yourself. You will get all of the validation that you need from home anyway. I will make sure that a day doesn't go by without mama telling you how beautiful and special you are. I want you to appreciate the color of your skin whether it's caramel, mocha or deep chocolate. I want you to love the kinks, coils and curls of your crown. I want you to love everything about you because I will.

I will also make sure your daddy is in your life so you will know what it feels like to have a man love you unconditionally. The first man I ever loved was my daddy and the first man you will ever love will be your daddy. Daddy sets the precedent for the type of man you chose. I'm going to pick wisely so you will be able to pick wisely. That is my personal mission.

I want you to be able to walk around with your head held high. You are just as important as any man walking this Earth. Never let anyone call you anything other than the name that I will give you. You are no one's bitch, hoe or Barbie. You are a princess that will grow up to be a queen. A pretty little girl that will grow up to be a beautiful young woman. Don't let anyone try to convince you of anything different. You are precious.

Now, I'm about to tell the same thing I told your brother. I would love for you to bring a Black man home, but if your heart belongs with a person of different race or the same gender, I will still love you. My love for you is unconditional. All I ask is that you end up with someone that will love you and grow with you. Don't date or even look at anyone that tries to bring you down instead of growing with you. You deserve so much better than that.

I have so many hopes and dreams for you. I'm not going to push you to be a doctor or try to tell you how live your life. I just want you to be happy and successful. I want you to show people what you are capable. The sky is the limit. I only want the best for you. I love you that much.

Love,

Mommy

To My Little Man....

Dear Son,

I used to swear up and down that I didn't want a little boy.

I thought they were too rough. Too dirty. Too rowdy. Too male.

I thought I would be a better role model for a little girl and I had nothing to offer a son. There are plenty of people that share this sentiment. Evidently, society believes mothers are just supposed to give hugs and kiss boo boos. I think I have a lot more to offer to you than a stereotype.

Mothers create their sons' images of women. I want you be able to look at your mama and the other women that will be in your life and know the media is wrong. I want you to be able to look at a Black woman and see your sister instead of a "bitch" or a "ho". I want you to see the beauty in Black women. I want you to see the beauty in our kinks and coils and our chocolate skin. Your image of Black women will not be an ass in a camera. You're entitled to like what you like but my wish is that you're not so blinded by a woman's booty that you won't take the time to seek a woman that can stimulate you mentally as well as physically.

I would love for you to bring a Black woman home but if you find yourself loving someone different, Mama will still love you. My love for you is unconditional. Just don't lose sight of yourself and the values you will be raised with. I have a lot of hopes for you but you have to live your own life. I can't chose your mate, career or anything else that creates your adult life for you.

Also, from growing up around your knuckled headed uncle and a bunch of other males, I know how much of a handful boys can be. Mommy believes in the art of the ass whoopin' so don't start none, won't be none (lol).  All I ask is that you don't just on my furniture, break all of my stuff or set anything or anyone on fire. In exchange, I won't do much whoopin' and I won't make you wear a sweater vest. I promise.

Black men are and have always been under attack in this country. That fact is another reason I had been reluctant to have a boy. My wish for you is that I raise a man that will be equipped to deal with the challenges he faces in this country. I want you to be conscious and intelligent enough not to become a statistic. I believe in your potential and I don't want it to be squandered. I don't want you to be at the opposite end of a policeman's gun or in someone's prison.  That brings me to my next point...

I will make sure your daddy is in your life. Hopefully, if the Creator sees fit, you will grow from a boy to a man and you need a male example in your life. Men and women are different and although I am sure that I will teach you everything I can, there are some spaces that your daddy needs to fill in. Male role models are nice but no one compares to having your dad around. Believe me, I know. Hopefully, your father and I will be married and stay married. I want you to grow up within a tight-knit family. I want you to feel loved. You will have plenty of aunties around to spoil you along with your grandmother.

 Your grandfather died before you were able to meet him, but I will tell you everything I know about him. Thankfully, your grandmother is still alive so she will fill you in on anything I left out and spoil you to pieces. Just don't cross her because she believes in the art of the ass whoopin' as well. There are so many things I want to tell you but this letter will have to suffice until mama gets over her chronic writers block. Even though I don't know your name, I love you very much.

Love,
Mommy

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Editor's Note: Stay Tuned for Part II, A Letter to My Future Daughter on Tuesday.  Hope you enjoyed this uncharacteristic display of mushiness. It took me forever to write this letter. I hope my son, if I have one, will be able to see this one day. And no, I will NOT be having ANY babies anytime soon. 

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