It's Supposed to Be Just Hair....

I've been trying to drum up a natural hair post for a few days because I have done one in a while. Well, I got my inspiration.

There was a YouTube video posted on CurlyNikki.com's forums by one of the members. It seems like the person that posted the video wasn't very fond of it's content. Well, I watched it. All eight minutes of it. In the video, a young girl was expressing her disdain for the "natural hair obsession". She used to make tutorial videos and decided to quit because she felt like going natural had become a fad and some people were being a bit extra. After getting past the condescending tone of the video and other annoyances, I thought about what I had watched and concluded that the Youtuber had a valid point.

 

I hate to break it to you my natural hair'd ladies but sometimes, it's too much. I think a lot of us are becoming the same thing we claim to despise. Don't believe me? Let me break it down...

I big chopped two months ago. During my first month of naturalness, I acted a straight fool. I admit it. Every tweet had the #naturalhair hashtag attached to it. I couldn't stop talking about my hair. Well, people started to think I was talking too much and bitchassness ensued. Consequently, I stopped tweeting about it for a minute out of stubbornness and I eventually deleted that Twitter all together. Well, I'm on my second account and I still don't tweet about natural hair as much. Why? I'm over the hype. Everything that was exciting to me is boring to me now. With the exception of a few blogs and a radio/TV show, no one never says anything new to me. It seems like everyone thinks the same and talks the same. Anyone that doesn't say something positive gets attacked. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't like when people talk crap about naturals either but must we go on a war path every time someone says something stupid? Also, I grew tired of the constant snarky remarks made towards women with unnatural hair and said women posting blog posts defending their hair. Naturals, I get that you love your hair, but you can express that love without being bitchy towards "weavies" and "permies". It's not cute. It's divisive and counterproductive. I get that some of them talk crap about our hair but you don't have to stoop to that level and vice versa for my permed and weaved sisters. You shouldn't feel like you have to defend your hair or your Blackness because a few natural snobs. To tell the truth, most of us don't give a damn about your hair anyway. Having natural hair doesn't give someone a V.I.P. Black card. I get it, you're excited. I was too. But keep the snark at a minimum.

I apologize if this post isn't that organized. I was doing a bit of rambling. If I need to elaborate, I will later. Just let me know.

Tell me what you think. Drop a comment.

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To My Baby Girl...

Dear Daughter,

I wrote a letter to your brother yesterday and now it's your turn.

Ever since I could remember, I've always wanted a little girl. I grew up in a house full of women and that made me want raise a woman of my own.

I can't wait to be able to dress you up and put ribbons around your little afro puffs. I want to be by your side as your prom date slips a corsage on your wrist and to see your daddy walk you down the aisle.

I understand that none of this may happen and you could end up being the complete opposite of your girly mama and that is okay. Can't fault me for hoping! I will love you either way.

I am also fully aware that girls, especially Black girls, can be a bit attitudinal, especially during the teenage years. I was a moody teenager and two of your aunties are teenagers right now, so I am fully prepare to handle your little attitude. I might have to dish out some very tough love but you'll benefit and grow from it. I promise.

My biggest wish is that you grow up to be a confident, intelligent and strong woman. I know how hard it is to grow up as a Black girl in America. You will be constantly bombarded with images of how society believe you should look, dress and act. But I am confident that you will be able to look past all of that and be able to love yourself. You will get all of the validation that you need from home anyway. I will make sure that a day doesn't go by without mama telling you how beautiful and special you are. I want you to appreciate the color of your skin whether it's caramel, mocha or deep chocolate. I want you to love the kinks, coils and curls of your crown. I want you to love everything about you because I will.

I will also make sure your daddy is in your life so you will know what it feels like to have a man love you unconditionally. The first man I ever loved was my daddy and the first man you will ever love will be your daddy. Daddy sets the precedent for the type of man you chose. I'm going to pick wisely so you will be able to pick wisely. That is my personal mission.

I want you to be able to walk around with your head held high. You are just as important as any man walking this Earth. Never let anyone call you anything other than the name that I will give you. You are no one's bitch, hoe or Barbie. You are a princess that will grow up to be a queen. A pretty little girl that will grow up to be a beautiful young woman. Don't let anyone try to convince you of anything different. You are precious.

Now, I'm about to tell the same thing I told your brother. I would love for you to bring a Black man home, but if your heart belongs with a person of different race or the same gender, I will still love you. My love for you is unconditional. All I ask is that you end up with someone that will love you and grow with you. Don't date or even look at anyone that tries to bring you down instead of growing with you. You deserve so much better than that.

I have so many hopes and dreams for you. I'm not going to push you to be a doctor or try to tell you how live your life. I just want you to be happy and successful. I want you to show people what you are capable. The sky is the limit. I only want the best for you. I love you that much.

Love,

Mommy

I Am My Sister's Keeper

There have been many stereotypes of Black women floating around for decades and one of the most notorious ones has been the idea that we don't get along. Sadly, there have been many instances in which I questioned whether or not this stereotype can be taken with a grain of salt. I have seen Black women fight each other over men, rumors, material items and a lot of other issues. Yesterday, I saw a petty high school beef almost erupt into a brawl and every participant was a Black woman.


 I watched a YouTube video in which the ladies behind Natural Hair Tuesdays discussed the camaraderie (or lack of) between women with natural hair. One of the ladies had an experience with another woman in which the other lady mean mugged her for no apparent reason. If I had a nickel for every time another woman gave me a look of contempt for no reason, I wouldn't be so mad at my college for not giving me my refund. I'm sure many other women can say the same. I don't get it. 


Have we been conditioned to hate each other? 


Is it insecurity?


I don't know what it is but I don't like it. There are enough people in this world that try to demonize Black women from the media to men. We shouldn't be contributing to the problem. We need to love and embrace each other. After all, we've gone through so much since our ancestors step foot on this land. We've been beaten, raped, disrespected and dehumanized by this nation. We are constantly seen as too loud, too independent, too mean, too ugly and a bunch of other toos. If anything, we need to be mean mugging the media for depicting us as a group of herpes infested battle axes that will die alone. We need to mean mug the many Black men that use the same stereotypes to disrespect and disown us.


There is a lot of mean mugging that needs to be done and it doesn't need to be done at the sister that hasn't harmed you in away. I don't know about you but if I see another sister with cute hair, shoes or ensemble, I have no problem complimenting her. If you see girl with cute shoes, tell her so instead of scrunching up your face and thinking "she aint that cute".  I have no problem with smiling at or greeting another woman as she goes about her day. Instead of a frown, give another woman a grin or even a smile. It could make her day. The little things matter.


Ladies, stop saying "I don't like females" or anything similar. It's alright to have a discerning eye and it's okay to be weary of the people you let into your inner circle. But you don't have to shut someone out or be bitchy because the person just happens to share the same number of chromosomes as you do. You don't see men walking side-eying each other for no apparent reason. Hell, men can be beating the hell out of each other one minute and be best friends the next. Maybe we can learn something from them.


What do you think? Leave a comment.