To My Baby Girl...

Dear Daughter,

I wrote a letter to your brother yesterday and now it's your turn.

Ever since I could remember, I've always wanted a little girl. I grew up in a house full of women and that made me want raise a woman of my own.

I can't wait to be able to dress you up and put ribbons around your little afro puffs. I want to be by your side as your prom date slips a corsage on your wrist and to see your daddy walk you down the aisle.

I understand that none of this may happen and you could end up being the complete opposite of your girly mama and that is okay. Can't fault me for hoping! I will love you either way.

I am also fully aware that girls, especially Black girls, can be a bit attitudinal, especially during the teenage years. I was a moody teenager and two of your aunties are teenagers right now, so I am fully prepare to handle your little attitude. I might have to dish out some very tough love but you'll benefit and grow from it. I promise.

My biggest wish is that you grow up to be a confident, intelligent and strong woman. I know how hard it is to grow up as a Black girl in America. You will be constantly bombarded with images of how society believe you should look, dress and act. But I am confident that you will be able to look past all of that and be able to love yourself. You will get all of the validation that you need from home anyway. I will make sure that a day doesn't go by without mama telling you how beautiful and special you are. I want you to appreciate the color of your skin whether it's caramel, mocha or deep chocolate. I want you to love the kinks, coils and curls of your crown. I want you to love everything about you because I will.

I will also make sure your daddy is in your life so you will know what it feels like to have a man love you unconditionally. The first man I ever loved was my daddy and the first man you will ever love will be your daddy. Daddy sets the precedent for the type of man you chose. I'm going to pick wisely so you will be able to pick wisely. That is my personal mission.

I want you to be able to walk around with your head held high. You are just as important as any man walking this Earth. Never let anyone call you anything other than the name that I will give you. You are no one's bitch, hoe or Barbie. You are a princess that will grow up to be a queen. A pretty little girl that will grow up to be a beautiful young woman. Don't let anyone try to convince you of anything different. You are precious.

Now, I'm about to tell the same thing I told your brother. I would love for you to bring a Black man home, but if your heart belongs with a person of different race or the same gender, I will still love you. My love for you is unconditional. All I ask is that you end up with someone that will love you and grow with you. Don't date or even look at anyone that tries to bring you down instead of growing with you. You deserve so much better than that.

I have so many hopes and dreams for you. I'm not going to push you to be a doctor or try to tell you how live your life. I just want you to be happy and successful. I want you to show people what you are capable. The sky is the limit. I only want the best for you. I love you that much.

Love,

Mommy

To My Little Man....

Dear Son,

I used to swear up and down that I didn't want a little boy.

I thought they were too rough. Too dirty. Too rowdy. Too male.

I thought I would be a better role model for a little girl and I had nothing to offer a son. There are plenty of people that share this sentiment. Evidently, society believes mothers are just supposed to give hugs and kiss boo boos. I think I have a lot more to offer to you than a stereotype.

Mothers create their sons' images of women. I want you be able to look at your mama and the other women that will be in your life and know the media is wrong. I want you to be able to look at a Black woman and see your sister instead of a "bitch" or a "ho". I want you to see the beauty in Black women. I want you to see the beauty in our kinks and coils and our chocolate skin. Your image of Black women will not be an ass in a camera. You're entitled to like what you like but my wish is that you're not so blinded by a woman's booty that you won't take the time to seek a woman that can stimulate you mentally as well as physically.

I would love for you to bring a Black woman home but if you find yourself loving someone different, Mama will still love you. My love for you is unconditional. Just don't lose sight of yourself and the values you will be raised with. I have a lot of hopes for you but you have to live your own life. I can't chose your mate, career or anything else that creates your adult life for you.

Also, from growing up around your knuckled headed uncle and a bunch of other males, I know how much of a handful boys can be. Mommy believes in the art of the ass whoopin' so don't start none, won't be none (lol).  All I ask is that you don't just on my furniture, break all of my stuff or set anything or anyone on fire. In exchange, I won't do much whoopin' and I won't make you wear a sweater vest. I promise.

Black men are and have always been under attack in this country. That fact is another reason I had been reluctant to have a boy. My wish for you is that I raise a man that will be equipped to deal with the challenges he faces in this country. I want you to be conscious and intelligent enough not to become a statistic. I believe in your potential and I don't want it to be squandered. I don't want you to be at the opposite end of a policeman's gun or in someone's prison.  That brings me to my next point...

I will make sure your daddy is in your life. Hopefully, if the Creator sees fit, you will grow from a boy to a man and you need a male example in your life. Men and women are different and although I am sure that I will teach you everything I can, there are some spaces that your daddy needs to fill in. Male role models are nice but no one compares to having your dad around. Believe me, I know. Hopefully, your father and I will be married and stay married. I want you to grow up within a tight-knit family. I want you to feel loved. You will have plenty of aunties around to spoil you along with your grandmother.

 Your grandfather died before you were able to meet him, but I will tell you everything I know about him. Thankfully, your grandmother is still alive so she will fill you in on anything I left out and spoil you to pieces. Just don't cross her because she believes in the art of the ass whoopin' as well. There are so many things I want to tell you but this letter will have to suffice until mama gets over her chronic writers block. Even though I don't know your name, I love you very much.

Love,
Mommy

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Editor's Note: Stay Tuned for Part II, A Letter to My Future Daughter on Tuesday.  Hope you enjoyed this uncharacteristic display of mushiness. It took me forever to write this letter. I hope my son, if I have one, will be able to see this one day. And no, I will NOT be having ANY babies anytime soon. 

Drop a comment and tell me what you thought.

Celebrating Black Love

Source: Black Love Poster

Today's post is going to be a little more lightheaded than yesterday's post.

I am a hopeless romantic. I love all things mushy and lovey dovey. I am a strong proponent of positivity and I think all love is beautiful. However, as a proud Black woman, I think Black Love is the best love. Sadly, there are many people that do not share the same sentiment, including other Black people, and consequently, Black love is under constant scrutiny and attack. So, I do whatever I can to show other people that Black Love is alive and well. Luckily, there are people that share the same mission. One of them is Leila Noelliste. In addition to having an awesome natural hair blog, Black Girl Long Hair, she also has a Tumblr, Black Love Poster that showcases pictures of Black women and the people that love them. Readers, if you are one half of a couple that contains a Black woman, I urge you to send pictures to this site and tell all of your friends about it. We need to show people that Black Love is alive and well.

Check out Black Love Poster HERE and check out BGLH, HERE.

4 Subjects That Cannot Be Discussed With Black People

I'm starting of this week with a little controversy. 


Last week, I posted the following Facebook status, " [I have] come to the conclusion that there are some topics that are damn near impossible to civilly discuss with most Black people....". I posted that status after I had a discussion with a few people on a blogging site. At the beginning of the discussion, everyone was being civil and the progression of the discussion was great. Sadly, as the day progressed, more people read the article and people started to act a bit ignant. Yes, ignant. This discussion, and others, showed me that there is always room for improvement in the Black community. There are so many unnecessary taboos in our community that need to be abandoned. Anyway, I'm going to step off of my virtual soap box and let you read 4 Subjects That Cannot Be Discussed With Black People.


Gender/Sexuality
I have been in various discussions with people about these subjects and their sub-subjects and I think I can count on one hand how many have ended without a shouting match. If I'm discussing LGBT issues or topics, I usually get a Bible verse thrown at me or someone spits out the word "abomination". I don't get it. Why are people so obsessed with somebody else's sex life? It's one thing to disagree but some people border on obsession and it makes me question their motives and reasons. 
Same with gender issues. The minute the words "feminism" and/or "womanism" is uttered in many Black circles, people are sent into a tizzy. Stereotypes are thrown and misconceptions are taken as truth. People, not all feminists and womanists are hairy man hating bra burners. More on that later this week.


Religion
I steer clear of this subject at all costs. Readers, especially my brothers and sisters, Black =/= Christian. Black people adhere to a variety of faiths and belief systems and no, I'm not referring to Baptist, Methodist, and other Christian denominations. There are Black Muslims, Black Jews, Black Buddhists and even Black Atheists and Agnostics. I understand that your beliefs may preach they are going to hell and that's fine but you don't have to beat them over the head with that belief. It is perfectly okay for someone to have different beliefs. Please, hop off. Thanks.


Beauty
This is especially true among Black women. There's make-up vs. bare. Light skin vs. Dark. Long Hair vs. Short Hair. And the biggest one? Permed vs. Weave vs. Natural. It's so crazy. Bring any of these subjects up and earrings might get taken off.  Our community has been conditioned to like and strive for one look and it's caused a heap of conflict. There have been movies made, books written and shade thrown. More in this later as well.


Relationships
Love is a complicated concept and the discussions that surround it are just as complicated. Black Love is constantly under attack and Black people do a lot of the attacking. Ladies, how many times have you heard a girlfriend utter "niggas aint shit" or "all the Black men are dead, married, in jail or gay"?  It seems like the media is doing all it can to destroy Black Love with the constant barrage of reports about how unmarriageable Black women are and how we're going to die alone in a house full of cats. Sadly, I see a lot of fellas play into it and develop a sense of entitlement. As a result you have men making comments similar to those of Slim Thug. I have an idea. Stop all of the gender bashing, promote love and stop believing the propaganda.


What do you think? Disagree? Have anything to add to this list? Leave a comment.