To My Little Man....

Dear Son,

I used to swear up and down that I didn't want a little boy.

I thought they were too rough. Too dirty. Too rowdy. Too male.

I thought I would be a better role model for a little girl and I had nothing to offer a son. There are plenty of people that share this sentiment. Evidently, society believes mothers are just supposed to give hugs and kiss boo boos. I think I have a lot more to offer to you than a stereotype.

Mothers create their sons' images of women. I want you be able to look at your mama and the other women that will be in your life and know the media is wrong. I want you to be able to look at a Black woman and see your sister instead of a "bitch" or a "ho". I want you to see the beauty in Black women. I want you to see the beauty in our kinks and coils and our chocolate skin. Your image of Black women will not be an ass in a camera. You're entitled to like what you like but my wish is that you're not so blinded by a woman's booty that you won't take the time to seek a woman that can stimulate you mentally as well as physically.

I would love for you to bring a Black woman home but if you find yourself loving someone different, Mama will still love you. My love for you is unconditional. Just don't lose sight of yourself and the values you will be raised with. I have a lot of hopes for you but you have to live your own life. I can't chose your mate, career or anything else that creates your adult life for you.

Also, from growing up around your knuckled headed uncle and a bunch of other males, I know how much of a handful boys can be. Mommy believes in the art of the ass whoopin' so don't start none, won't be none (lol).  All I ask is that you don't just on my furniture, break all of my stuff or set anything or anyone on fire. In exchange, I won't do much whoopin' and I won't make you wear a sweater vest. I promise.

Black men are and have always been under attack in this country. That fact is another reason I had been reluctant to have a boy. My wish for you is that I raise a man that will be equipped to deal with the challenges he faces in this country. I want you to be conscious and intelligent enough not to become a statistic. I believe in your potential and I don't want it to be squandered. I don't want you to be at the opposite end of a policeman's gun or in someone's prison.  That brings me to my next point...

I will make sure your daddy is in your life. Hopefully, if the Creator sees fit, you will grow from a boy to a man and you need a male example in your life. Men and women are different and although I am sure that I will teach you everything I can, there are some spaces that your daddy needs to fill in. Male role models are nice but no one compares to having your dad around. Believe me, I know. Hopefully, your father and I will be married and stay married. I want you to grow up within a tight-knit family. I want you to feel loved. You will have plenty of aunties around to spoil you along with your grandmother.

 Your grandfather died before you were able to meet him, but I will tell you everything I know about him. Thankfully, your grandmother is still alive so she will fill you in on anything I left out and spoil you to pieces. Just don't cross her because she believes in the art of the ass whoopin' as well. There are so many things I want to tell you but this letter will have to suffice until mama gets over her chronic writers block. Even though I don't know your name, I love you very much.

Love,
Mommy

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Editor's Note: Stay Tuned for Part II, A Letter to My Future Daughter on Tuesday.  Hope you enjoyed this uncharacteristic display of mushiness. It took me forever to write this letter. I hope my son, if I have one, will be able to see this one day. And no, I will NOT be having ANY babies anytime soon. 

Drop a comment and tell me what you thought.

It's A...Baby!

I have toyed with the idea of having kids for a while. One minute I would want them, the next, I didn't. I've settled for just saying I won't have them for a while (knocks on wood). As I've gotten older, my ideas about having kids has shifted from whether or not I want them to which gender I'd prefer to parent.

When I first starting thinking about that I swore up and down that I wanted just a little girl and no boys. I grew up in a house full of women, I'm a bit of a priss and I would love to have a mini me walking around for me to dress up and indoctrinate with my views. After all, there can never be too many little nappy headed, feminist prisses in this work.

Although I would love to have a little girl one day, I don't think I'd have a problem with having a little boy either. As of right now, one of each would be ideal. I wouldn't mind watching him throw a football with his daddy or having him worship the ground I walk on because I'm his mama. Either way, I'd be cool. Sadly, the same cannot be said of a lot of other people.

I've countless conversations with people during which they stated their preference for one gender while putting down the other using a bunch of tired ass stereotypes. Girls have been called too high maintenance, too expensive, too emotional and etc. Boys have been referred to as too rough, too messy, to mischievious and etc. I have always had a strong disdain for stereotypes and part of the reason I blog is to enlighten people, so I've decided to write a letter/post (don't know which yet) to both my future son and my future daughter and explain why I wouldn't mind being a mother to either gender. Stay tuned and look out for both!

What do you think? Which gender would you prefer? Boy, Girl or Both? Drop a comment.