Monday, July 26, 2010
To My Little Man....
I used to swear up and down that I didn't want a little boy.
I thought they were too rough. Too dirty. Too rowdy. Too male.
I thought I would be a better role model for a little girl and I had nothing to offer a son. There are plenty of people that share this sentiment. Evidently, society believes mothers are just supposed to give hugs and kiss boo boos. I think I have a lot more to offer to you than a stereotype.
Mothers create their sons' images of women. I want you be able to look at your mama and the other women that will be in your life and know the media is wrong. I want you to be able to look at a Black woman and see your sister instead of a "bitch" or a "ho". I want you to see the beauty in Black women. I want you to see the beauty in our kinks and coils and our chocolate skin. Your image of Black women will not be an ass in a camera. You're entitled to like what you like but my wish is that you're not so blinded by a woman's booty that you won't take the time to seek a woman that can stimulate you mentally as well as physically.
I would love for you to bring a Black woman home but if you find yourself loving someone different, Mama will still love you. My love for you is unconditional. Just don't lose sight of yourself and the values you will be raised with. I have a lot of hopes for you but you have to live your own life. I can't chose your mate, career or anything else that creates your adult life for you.
Also, from growing up around your knuckled headed uncle and a bunch of other males, I know how much of a handful boys can be. Mommy believes in the art of the ass whoopin' so don't start none, won't be none (lol). All I ask is that you don't just on my furniture, break all of my stuff or set anything or anyone on fire. In exchange, I won't do much whoopin' and I won't make you wear a sweater vest. I promise.
Black men are and have always been under attack in this country. That fact is another reason I had been reluctant to have a boy. My wish for you is that I raise a man that will be equipped to deal with the challenges he faces in this country. I want you to be conscious and intelligent enough not to become a statistic. I believe in your potential and I don't want it to be squandered. I don't want you to be at the opposite end of a policeman's gun or in someone's prison. That brings me to my next point...
I will make sure your daddy is in your life. Hopefully, if the Creator sees fit, you will grow from a boy to a man and you need a male example in your life. Men and women are different and although I am sure that I will teach you everything I can, there are some spaces that your daddy needs to fill in. Male role models are nice but no one compares to having your dad around. Believe me, I know. Hopefully, your father and I will be married and stay married. I want you to grow up within a tight-knit family. I want you to feel loved. You will have plenty of aunties around to spoil you along with your grandmother.
Your grandfather died before you were able to meet him, but I will tell you everything I know about him. Thankfully, your grandmother is still alive so she will fill you in on anything I left out and spoil you to pieces. Just don't cross her because she believes in the art of the ass whoopin' as well. There are so many things I want to tell you but this letter will have to suffice until mama gets over her chronic writers block. Even though I don't know your name, I love you very much.
Editor's Note: Stay Tuned for Part II, A Letter to My Future Daughter on Tuesday. Hope you enjoyed this uncharacteristic display of mushiness. It took me forever to write this letter. I hope my son, if I have one, will be able to see this one day. And no, I will NOT be having ANY babies anytime soon.
Drop a comment and tell me what you thought.