Friday, June 25, 2010

Essence....you dun f*cked up.

I've been reading Essence since I was in high school. I've always looked to the magazine to share stories from my sisters and promote images of Black women that I can be proud of. As I've gotten older, the magazine has been going through some changes and not for the better. I've watch the magazine shrink and its material become fluffy. I've tried be hopeful but I keep getting disappointed. A few day ago, Essence magazine began promoting a natural hair chat. I was actually excited although Essence's natural hair track record has been a bit spotty lately. I figured this chat could give the magazine some much need insight and help them be able to give better advice. The excitement transformed into elation when I head that Chrisette Michele, a new natural and one of my favorite singers, would be participating in the chat. I set a reminder and watched the clock the day of the chat to ensure that I wouldn't miss anything.When the chat began, my elation and excitement turned into confusion and irritation. There was blatant product pushing and spotty advice. One of panelists didn't know what sister locks were. I could have gotten past that if I had actually been able to chat. The chat application they used allowed them to be able to pick and choose which comments they would allow on the board. Consequently, barely any of the non-panelists could get a comment posted. Questions that actually went through were mostly ignored. Chrisette was the only one that seemed to acknowledge our presence.We basically watched the "experts" talk. I was heated and so were many of my sisters. After all, we were under the impression that we would be able to exchange ideas with the panelists rather than watching them circle jerk each other. Chrisette stans, like myself, thought we might be able to talk and fellowship with her. Bottom line, the chat was an uber FAIL. So I decided to host a chat of my own on Monday evening from about 7pm-8:30pm. I want to show Essence what a REAL natural hair chat is supposed to look like. Spread the word.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Celebrating Black Love


Source: Black Love Poster

Today's post is going to be a little more lightheaded than yesterday's post.

I am a hopeless romantic. I love all things mushy and lovey dovey. I am a strong proponent of positivity and I think all love is beautiful. However, as a proud Black woman, I think Black Love is the best love. Sadly, there are many people that do not share the same sentiment, including other Black people, and consequently, Black love is under constant scrutiny and attack. So, I do whatever I can to show other people that Black Love is alive and well. Luckily, there are people that share the same mission. One of them is Leila Noelliste. In addition to having an awesome natural hair blog, Black Girl Long Hair, she also has a Tumblr, Black Love Poster that showcases pictures of Black women and the people that love them. Readers, if you are one half of a couple that contains a Black woman, I urge you to send pictures to this site and tell all of your friends about it. We need to show people that Black Love is alive and well.

Check out Black Love Poster HERE and check out BGLH, HERE.


Monday, June 14, 2010

4 Subjects That Cannot Be Discussed With Black People



I'm starting of this week with a little controversy. 


Last week, I posted the following Facebook status, " [I have] come to the conclusion that there are some topics that are damn near impossible to civilly discuss with most Black people....". I posted that status after I had a discussion with a few people on a blogging site. At the beginning of the discussion, everyone was being civil and the progression of the discussion was great. Sadly, as the day progressed, more people read the article and people started to act a bit ignant. Yes, ignant. This discussion, and others, showed me that there is always room for improvement in the Black community. There are so many unnecessary taboos in our community that need to be abandoned. Anyway, I'm going to step off of my virtual soap box and let you read 4 Subjects That Cannot Be Discussed With Black People.


Gender/Sexuality
I have been in various discussions with people about these subjects and their sub-subjects and I think I can count on one hand how many have ended without a shouting match. If I'm discussing LGBT issues or topics, I usually get a Bible verse thrown at me or someone spits out the word "abomination". I don't get it. Why are people so obsessed with somebody else's sex life? It's one thing to disagree but some people border on obsession and it makes me question their motives and reasons. 
Same with gender issues. The minute the words "feminism" and/or "womanism" is uttered in many Black circles, people are sent into a tizzy. Stereotypes are thrown and misconceptions are taken as truth. People, not all feminists and womanists are hairy man hating bra burners. More on that later this week.


Religion
I steer clear of this subject at all costs. Readers, especially my brothers and sisters, Black =/= Christian. Black people adhere to a variety of faiths and belief systems and no, I'm not referring to Baptist, Methodist, and other Christian denominations. There are Black Muslims, Black Jews, Black Buddhists and even Black Atheists and Agnostics. I understand that your beliefs may preach they are going to hell and that's fine but you don't have to beat them over the head with that belief. It is perfectly okay for someone to have different beliefs. Please, hop off. Thanks.


Beauty
This is especially true among Black women. There's make-up vs. bare. Light skin vs. Dark. Long Hair vs. Short Hair. And the biggest one? Permed vs. Weave vs. Natural. It's so crazy. Bring any of these subjects up and earrings might get taken off.  Our community has been conditioned to like and strive for one look and it's caused a heap of conflict. There have been movies made, books written and shade thrown. More in this later as well.


Relationships
Love is a complicated concept and the discussions that surround it are just as complicated. Black Love is constantly under attack and Black people do a lot of the attacking. Ladies, how many times have you heard a girlfriend utter "niggas aint shit" or "all the Black men are dead, married, in jail or gay"?  It seems like the media is doing all it can to destroy Black Love with the constant barrage of reports about how unmarriageable Black women are and how we're going to die alone in a house full of cats. Sadly, I see a lot of fellas play into it and develop a sense of entitlement. As a result you have men making comments similar to those of Slim Thug. I have an idea. Stop all of the gender bashing, promote love and stop believing the propaganda.


What do you think? Disagree? Have anything to add to this list? Leave a comment.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Natural Hair vs. Career: My Experience


Thursday night was one of agony, frustration and anxiety. I had an interview the following day and I experiencing a mini-crisis. I didn't know what to do with my hair. You see, I big chopped (cut off my relaxed ends for those not familiar with natural hair terminology) about two weeks ago and have a small fluffy afro. I was running around like a mad woman. I asked for advice online. I even consider straightening it and putting on a wig. Finally, I went into my mom's room and she offered to twist it. I wore a twist-out to the interview. Although the interview went smoothly, I still wonder if my hair affected my chance of getting that job. 

I knew when I started my transition seven months ago that I would run into some challenges. But I was very unprepared for this one. I had been reading natural hair blogs for months that mentioned this very subject but I still wasn't ready for the butterflies in the pit of my stomach. I wonder how many other women have felt the same way. I don't think people realize how big of an issue this is because I certainly did not. When I was relaxed, I wouldn't have given a damn about how my hair looked because I knew I would be coming out of a wrap like I did every morning. I didn't have a care in the world. Before my boyfriend started growing his dreads, I bet he did not think that a store employee would lie in order to avoid giving him an application. Hell, as I type, one of my friends has a status on my Facebook timeline referring to an employer that didn't want to hire a black woman and I'm sure her natural hair did not help. Earlier today, media outlets reported that American Apparel discriminated again Black women that straightened their hair. It's like we're damned if we do and damned if we don't. 

What do you think?

Movie Review: Splice



Editor's Note: Alright people. To help kick of this new blog, I'm going to flex my journalist's muscles and do a movie review. There will be a couple of spoilers.

 On Thursday, I went to the movies with my little sister and a friend to see Splice. I left traumatized. 
I had been interested in seeing Splice since the trailers have started appearing on television. Those trailers had me thinking that the movie is about some horrible science experience that goes wrong and starts eating people. I went into the theater expecting to jump a few times and cover my eyes. Those trailers are very misleading. 
I'll give you a summary of the plot. Basically, a married pair of scientists are famous for taking the DNA of a few animals and breeding hybrid creatures that could potentially have beneficial purposes. The first two creatures are a couple of blobs named Fred and Ginger. Initially, Fred and Ginger fall into sweet little blob love and live happily ever after. The scientists consider this to be a great success, so the female scientist decided that it would be a great idea to create hybrids with human DNA. Initially her husband is against it, but in true Adam and Eve style, she convinces him that it is a good idea. It all goes down hill from there. With the help of an anonymous donor, they create Dren who seemed to be part human, fish, bird, snake, frog and whatever else they thought to throw in the pot. Dren started out looking like a walking fetus, then she became a little alien-like girl and turned into an alien-like young woman. The female scientist considers it a great success and as a result of some childhood issues, becomes attached to Dren. The still reluctant male scientist is initially distant but ends up being attached to Dren. Dren becomes attached to them as well but a little to attached to the male scientist. Dren and the male scientist end up doing the nasty and drama ensues. That was the first source of my trauma. Before all of this, the scientists have to do a presentation about Ginger and Fred. Well, the presentation doesn't go so well because Ginger ended up changing genders and her/him and Fred tear each other to shreds. Well, the same ends up happening to Dren. After being presumed to be sick and then dead, the scientists bury Dren. Well, Dren wasn't to happy about it. The newly male Dren seeks his revenge which leaves three people dead and the female scientist raped and pregnant with what might be Dren's animal/human baby.

In summary, this movie isn't recommended for the faint of heart. Three days later, I'm still hearing male Dren say "Elsa, Inside you". >_<

Warning


There is going to be a multitude of randomness. I'll explain.

I sat in my bedroom and pondered the potential topics that this blog would cover. After all, most of the successful blogs that I read are usually on one or two subjects. I considered becoming a natural hair blogger since I recently cut off all of my natural ends but I decided against it because it seems like every chick with a fro and her mama has a blog. I struggled to find a subject that base my blog around. I never found that subject. So, I am going to just blog about my general interests. After all, I'm constantly growing and gaining new interests and my blog is going to reflect this progression. I promise to do too much rambling and keep the blog organized. It will be organized randomness.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

I'm back at it!

Hello readers!

I'm Ashleigh Elle Aye and this is the blog formerly known as The New Lady.

I have been itching to get back into blogging for a while and I'm glad that I've finally gained the inspiration to do it. There have been a few changes in my life and mindset and this blog will reflect those changes and changes to come. As you may have noticed, I changed the name of the blog and deleted all of the old posts. I want to start anew. I have no idea what this blog will look like in a week, month or year but I'm willing to put in work to ensure that it is success. One of my adversaries (I REFUSE to say hater) tried to insult my character by talking about my "numerous failed blogs" and I took that as a challenged. It very well could become another failed blog but I'm willing to try and fail a million times if this failure contributes to my future success. After all, it took Thomas Edison over thousand times to perfect the light bulb. Maybe blogging is my lightbulb.