Wednesday, July 14, 2010

I Am My Sister's Keeper

There have been many stereotypes of Black women floating around for decades and one of the most notorious ones has been the idea that we don't get along. Sadly, there have been many instances in which I questioned whether or not this stereotype can be taken with a grain of salt. I have seen Black women fight each other over men, rumors, material items and a lot of other issues. Yesterday, I saw a petty high school beef almost erupt into a brawl and every participant was a Black woman.

 I watched a YouTube video in which the ladies behind Natural Hair Tuesdays discussed the camaraderie (or lack of) between women with natural hair. One of the ladies had an experience with another woman in which the other lady mean mugged her for no apparent reason. If I had a nickel for every time another woman gave me a look of contempt for no reason, I wouldn't be so mad at my college for not giving me my refund. I'm sure many other women can say the same. I don't get it. 

Have we been conditioned to hate each other? 

Is it insecurity?

I don't know what it is but I don't like it. There are enough people in this world that try to demonize Black women from the media to men. We shouldn't be contributing to the problem. We need to love and embrace each other. After all, we've gone through so much since our ancestors step foot on this land. We've been beaten, raped, disrespected and dehumanized by this nation. We are constantly seen as too loud, too independent, too mean, too ugly and a bunch of other toos. If anything, we need to be mean mugging the media for depicting us as a group of herpes infested battle axes that will die alone. We need to mean mug the many Black men that use the same stereotypes to disrespect and disown us.

There is a lot of mean mugging that needs to be done and it doesn't need to be done at the sister that hasn't harmed you in away. I don't know about you but if I see another sister with cute hair, shoes or ensemble, I have no problem complimenting her. If you see girl with cute shoes, tell her so instead of scrunching up your face and thinking "she aint that cute".  I have no problem with smiling at or greeting another woman as she goes about her day. Instead of a frown, give another woman a grin or even a smile. It could make her day. The little things matter.

Ladies, stop saying "I don't like females" or anything similar. It's alright to have a discerning eye and it's okay to be weary of the people you let into your inner circle. But you don't have to shut someone out or be bitchy because the person just happens to share the same number of chromosomes as you do. You don't see men walking side-eying each other for no apparent reason. Hell, men can be beating the hell out of each other one minute and be best friends the next. Maybe we can learn something from them.

What do you think? Leave a comment.

1 comment:

  1. Great post. I'm always interested in making new friends, but it seems like some Black women just aren't if you smile at another woman, something must be wrong with you. When I see another female with nice shoes, hair, etc I don't hesitate to compliment her. On the other hand, sometimes many of us walk around with a certain "face" (that we're not even aware of) that may turn others off. SO many times people have told me that I "look" mean when I'm the farthest thing from that. I guess my "natural face" is just mean looking, lol. I've seen some women who SEEM to be mean, but then I compliment them and they seem like really nice people, so you never know how someone really is...until you try talking to them. And you're definitely right... a lot women (all women, not just Black) are too busy hating each other and giving each other the side eye, when there are are other things we should be worried you said: men disrespecting us, the way we're portrayed in the media, etc. So much could be accomplished if women learned how to let the petty drama go.